Note: The protagonist is not my character per se, but since she only appeared in my character's history, I am claiming the character as my own
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“I am really sorry. But I... I don’t really see you that way.... Please, forgive me.”The words were soft and the voice even softer, but they still rang on her head even after all this time. They came out from the walls, from the snowy floor, from the ceiling and every crevices of the damp cave. The gentle trickle of the fountain echoed the words with every drop of water it spurt, as if reminding her of the foolishness of her effort.
And as she dropped her head on her hands and felt the soothing warmth of the fountain on her dangling feet, she silently agreed with the phantom voices permeating the air.
It really was...foolish.
It was a spur of the moment, a slip of the tongue that was too carried away by the circumstances. They were resting after a day long march, making camp not far from the castle. And as the fire was burning and the meal was cooked, he came over and sat by her side, carrying with him two mugs of steaming water. Tomorrow, he said, would be the eventful battle at last, and he asked whether she was fine and offered her one of the mugs.
Thank you, she had said, as he sat on the warm grass beside her. I should be the one to thank, came the reply, and his smile on that moonlit night was more beautiful than any dream she ever had, his golden locks swaying in the evening breeze.
It started with a simple questions of health and “how do you feel tonight?” and proceeded to a laugh as they remembered the first time they had met. You had granted me great honor, he said, and to this day I am still grateful for what you have done.
She had smiled and laughed and said
“It was my pleasure”, and the two of them were lost in remembrance of the past. He would say something and she would reply, and he would say that he did not remember and she would proceed to tell him the full story. It was a joyous conversation of two closest of friends, remembering the various things they had done together in their years of friendship, and all around them the night proceeded like a running river. Soon the moon was already high, and all that time something gnawed inside her even as she listened to his stories and giggled to his jokes.
This night...might be the last night that they would ever met.
And so, carried away by the atmosphere and the jovial laughter, at long length she proceeded to say those words, the words which she now regretted, and his laughter came to a complete halt. She had felt faint at that time and wanted only to bury her face in the earth, but she resisted. She had come this far, came her resolution, and the only thing she could do was to let him know the truth.
But his answer, said in his most gentle and tender tone, was sorely disappointing for her.
“I am really sorry. But I... I don’t really see you that way.... Please, forgive me.”She watched the clear water in the fountain from behind her fingers, tracing the cheerful ripples that darted here and there before finally faltered. Wasn’t her reaction back then was no different than what she was doing now?
The dazzling light in her eyes went off, and for a while the glowing blue sapphires, ever the source of cheer and wise counsel to the party seemed to have been buried forever under a blackened mist.
“I see...” she said, her pretty head downcast.
“You already had your choice.”“....I am sorry.”“You don’t have to.” And she tried to smile. Yes, she tried. But even now while remembering it she could clearly see that it was more of a grin. A grin pushed forward as lame protection from a broken heart.
She gulped. Her words felt like lead.
“...is it...the Princess?”His eyes glowed for a while, but only for a while. The next time they were back to their apologizing stare again. Even seeing him in this way... seeing him in this confusion and unsureness that was so alien to him, she still admired his face and the warm lips that were always clad in a smile, and those strong shoulders on whom every hope of the land lied. His voice, nervous... his tears, hurt... his fingers, embarrassed... each and every aspect of him was precious to her, and in whatever circumstances he was she would still love him nonetheless.
He was her hero, and that fact time would not ravage.
Only that, he was not her hero only.
“She is... a good friend of mine”, he said at last, threading his words carefully. His eyes were distant.
“But she is just that... a good friend. She is no more a good friend of mine than you are to me....” Even if he had lied back then, she would never suspect it. She cast a questioning look at him, her voice heavy.
“Then...”“I... am bonded to something else...“ he resumed, his eyes flickered in a strange light now, the kind she knew he displayed when he was baring his utmost feeling.
“Something else... more precious than The Princess or you... More precious than myself... The most perfect one...”And his smile was both solemn and silly.
“Do you know who she is?”She extended a hand and stared at it, watching her soft skin glimmered in the pulsating glow of the fountain. In all that she could say, she was...perfect. With her flowing blue hair colored in the joyous wave of the sea, and her eyes stared like two shining pearls from the deep. Her dainty limbs are strong yet mellow, fit in a battle or in a ballroom, and her movements brought about such grace and elegance that would put a blooming flower to shame. Her lines were perfect, her clothes lovely, and through his voice she could soothe even a summer sun to cease its blaze. And she was even more shining in the inside, having both a strong will and an understanding feeling followed by inexhaustible thirst for knowledge. Out of her kind she was the most radiant, and out of her allies now marching towards the castle she was the leading rays that motivated them forward, eclipsing even the Princess in her brave yet wise advice and cheerful demeanor, a perfect combination of resolution and intellect.
She was, in herself, a perfect being.
Yet with all that she knew about herself, with all that others
knew about herself... she was still confused, and she could only answer the man’s question now as she did back then.
“...I don’t know”.He smiled; a smile to her both heartwarming and heartrending.
“Her name is... Hyrule.”To the bewildered eyes he could only answer with dreamy ones, and his voice was as firm and resolute as it has always been.
“I am bonded to this land...to her people and towns and all the life in her. I love her seas...her rising forests...her cragged mountains...her swaying breeze in the night and powerful gale pushing the boats in the day.... I am in love with her kindness and her mystery, her death kisses and her life-giving properties... And moreso, I belong to these warm grasses where my friends had threaded, and this ebony sky where their shouts had reached to countless times before....“I am indebted to Hyrule, and she is my one and true love which I would live with...”...or die without.” She stared. She could only stare. His eyes back then was so delighted, so filled with dreams than she could barely held her muffled response inside her throat. This man... so noble yet so naïve. So mature yet so childish in his dreams and aspirations. Faced with a man like this, a man so pure-hearted who loved and beloved back by the world, what would a Fairy’s selfish feelings mean?
She smiled back, for the first time a genuine smile of delight. And the man back then returned her smile, like a boy asking a candy and received it without having to pay.
“I see... Then, I will help you protect her...with all my heart.”He was evidently glad.
“I thank you. Truly I thank you. Please... please continue just like the way we are now. Us talking like this...sitting together like this...walking and trying our best together to achieve peace we both dreamed of.... It is enough for me. More than enough.”He held her hands close to his chest. His eyes were shining.
“We would be the best of team, Wisdom. The best of friends as we have always been. And once we win tomorrow’s battle, we all will live happily and the land would prosper, just like we have always dreamed of!”To his radiant smile she returned it with a cheerful smile of her own.
“I would be very happy when that time comes...Hero of Time.”But the next moment she averted her eyes, unable to continue staring back at his. An owl hooted far in the forest, crying for a moon it would never attain.
***
Back at her fountain, Wisdom let out a long sigh, burying her face in her hands once more. This is bothersome...this feeling is. With all the wisdom she had, with all the wisdom she should have, she still could not understand the alluring mystery of this feeling. This soft but violent feeling that gnawed in her heart and clouded her mind, one which made her heart raced for no reason at all and her breathing to be heavy with incomprehensible cues that made no sense at all.
It seemed that, even the Great Fairy of Wisdom could not fully understand the feeling called Love.
She stayed for a long time in her fountain, sitting on its edge and watching the soft water trickled around her. Yet with all that he had said.... With all the promises that he had spoken to her.... In the end he was still obedient to his role. And once the disaster was averted and Hyrule was saved, he ascended to the throne and with it he took an eternal partner for himself, one who was known as Princess of Hyrule. Alone of the five Great Fairies who carried flowers for the grand ceremony only one whose smile did not reach her eyes. Even then her countenance was still more dazzling than the bride herself, clad as she was in the best gown possible.
‘If we were not fated to be together...’ she thought, as he declared the solemn oath right in front of her eyes,
‘then why would Love binds me to him? Why not to someone else, whom Fate allowed us to be together?’Clearly, she was imperfect as The Great Fairy of Wisdom.
Then suddenly, with her face filled with resoluteness she shot up from her position and walked to the back of the cave, where laid priceless books and manuscripts of all The Wisdom in the world. If there is anything that she could not understand... then she would not fit to be called The Great Fairy of Wisdom. And she could not let this be.
She had made her decision. In return of this feeling which the Hero had given her, in return of its deep secrets and unanswerable mysteries, she would give her life to understand Love. But to do this she was unprepared, and this limitation of hers she had accepted well and would do her best to surmount. And she had prepared a way for her to do it.
One day, someday in the future, one of her incarnations would understand Love, and that is when she would be truly fit to be called The Great Fairy of Wisdom.
And when she finally do this, she will not be on her own.
'When all things are said and done, still I am lost in thought
For Magic, it is complete in and of itself
While Power is surely not to be shared
And Kindness, a gift for others from oneself
And a Courage shared is a courage halved
But Wisdom...the more it is shared, the more it grows
And one who follows only herself, can never attain true Wisdom.'
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